#MeToo and more, where are we?

Two years on from my New York Times piece, some reflections

June 26, 2023

Two years ago, I published this first-person piece in the New York Times.

This is a gift link so open for all to read: https://nyti.ms/44gA0EZ. It was published in the Sunday Opinion section, after months of fact-checking and back-and-forth with editors. And most of all, months of me on edge waiting for my world to change as I went from having told literally nobody for 18 years to telling a few close friends as I suddenly came to grips with a past trauma, and within a few weeks, realizing that I had a unique ability as a once-but-no-longer sports reporter to be particularly frank about the rampant sexual harassment and innuendo, and in my case, sexual assault, that female sports reporters face.

The article at last was published on Sunday, June 20th, digitally, and in the next Sunday’s print section, after being one of the most-read articles in the New York Times that week. The original tweet in which I shared the article got more than 4 million impressions. Although I had been preparing myself for publication and different types of potential reactions for months, there is no way to fully prepare yourself for such an onslaught of reaction.

It all also happened just as I had arrived in Spain, as Europe had just opened up to COVID-vaccinated and tested U.S. travelers, and my company had said I could work from there for one month (plus a week of vacation). On one hand, this was a blessing, as it gave me some small measure of remove from being in NYC when the article came out. Despite most reaction being digital, it still felt different than to be in my home in the city where the NYT is based. But on the other hand, it sapped much of my ability to enjoy my time in Spain. I spent hours crying from trolls who accused me of lying or seeking money or trying to guess which player it had been while insisting they “knew” due to “clues” (which we were careful to avoid), time trying to mentally prepare myself for or emotionally recover from interviews with CNN or decide whether I wanted to agree to more extensive interviews with ESPN’s E:60 (I decided no), to respond to some tiny portion of the hundreds of people - from strangers to friends to classmates to relatives to colleagues or former colleagues - who wanted to share their own experiences of sexual abuse or rape; and to deal with or not the many messages from people I know.

It was all, to massively understate it, a lot.

There were so many messages, so much outreach, and I was in such emotional upheaval, that some were lost in the ether. I couldn’t keep up with all of them.

I decided to write this piece within a few weeks. It started in January 2021, as I read about the Cubs firing then-general manager Jared Porter for reports of his sending lewd photos and messages to female reporters. I rapidly dashed off a piece I self-published on Medium about general offenses of sexual harassment I faced as a reporter, leaving out the elephant in the room that I hadn’t even admitted to myself. In days soon after, though, I read a piece by Brittany Ghiroli in The Athletic and finally confronted that elephant and realized I had done nothing wrong. I told several close friends, and within a couple of weeks decided to write about it, because since I no longer work in baseball/sports journalism, I was more free to speak out about problems without threatening my career. I initially planned to also self-publish on Medium, but a wise friend in journalism convinced me I could have more impact elsewhere. I spent several weeks writing down in notebooks all sorts of memories that I wanted to include or thought I might want to include, began drafting something into form, got writing feedback from several journalist friends and ultimately pitched this to the New York Times and they decided they wanted to publish it. I very much wanted to focus not only on one horrific thing, being raped by a baseball player, but on the common sexual harassment and innuendo faced virtually every day as a reporter.

I had three main areas I hoped to have some impact:

  1. Making it easier for other female sports journalists and potentially even other women in general to come forward about sexual assault or harassment. But even if not coming forward, to at least realize they did not do something to bring it on.

  2. To hope to bring some small measure of change in baseball and sports. Perhaps Major League Baseball or some of its member clubs, or other leagues, would implement or improve upon training of players and employees to try to prevent sexual harassment, or would crack down on things already prohibited but often overlooked.

  3. To raise awareness in the general population. This one is so badly needed as so many male friends and acquaintances who reached out to me inadvertently said something that indicated they just didn’t get it. Like suggesting I should have been able to escape a professional athlete who outweighed me by more than half my body weight. Or putting blame on people who are victims.

I know that I did have some small impact in all these areas. People still working in sports journalism have reached out to tell me that while so many problems remain, things are improving in some ways for women in the sector. I would have liked to see a greater direct response. Whatever may be happening behind the scenes, only five people actually working in Major League Baseball other than reporters reached out to me in the direct aftermath of the story. Counting two others spoken to either in fact-checking or who reached out later, I heard from two general managers, one manager, one league official, one retired player, one former league official, and one club official. A surprisingly small number to me, since I know everyone heard about the story. I did hear from various reporters that it was widely talked about and discussed by league/team officials.

And what has been the long-term personal impact? 2021 was emotionally wrought, but I am incredibly glad I came forward. Unburdening oneself of a secret takes a huge weight off. Choosing to do something difficult because you believe you can make a difference in the world - however big or small, and in whatever arena that may be - is like training muscles for a race or a challenge. I have needed those muscles in difficult situations since, and I feel they are strong. They enable me to stand up for what is right in fraught situations. I know I am strong. I always was, but I am even stronger now.

Links of the week

Articles

Settling down, by Steve Schlafman. One of my favorites from the week, on finding a forever home.

Trump and corruption and Oman

Reporter Lara Logan’s break with reality

Dictators learning from one another on authoritarian policies 😑

The abortion stories we don’t tell, one year after Roe vs Wade was overturned.

Watches

Last season on Netflix of Never Have I Ever

Este evento en Casa de América en Madrid sobre como los EE.UU. y España pueden promover la democracía y los derechos humanos en Latinoamérica. Fui afortunada poder asistir. La embajadora de los EE.UU. a España fue entre los ponentes. En español.

Podcasts

Slow Burn series on Clarence Thomas. Last episode very relevant to the main subject of my newsletter today.

Itnig with Jesus Monleon & Edgar Vicente en español.

Relistening to former President Barack Obama speaking on democracy with Trevor Noah on The Daily Show.

Book

Stars In An Italian Sky by Jill Santopolo. My favorite by her is The Light We Lost.