Creating community

When I moved from New York City to Valencia, Spain, 1 1/2 years ago, one of the few things that gave me pause was leaving the community that I’d built around myself in NYC. I’d dreamed of living in Spain for a long-term, indefinite period since I came to study for a semester in Toledo, Spain, at 19, before I’d ever even visited NYC; and I was so excited to FINALLY live out that dream. But the job with approved visa came at a time that I’d never been more in love with NYC. So while I was incredibly excited to move to Spain, I was also nostalgic and sad about leaving behind my NYC community. Because while NYC is a huge city, it’s also many small villages and close-knit neighborhoods.

17 months later, as I prepare to move from Valencia up the coast to Barcelona next week, I’ve realized that I not only still have a deep and strong community in NYC, I’ve also found a new community of friends and friendly faces in Valencia, and I already have that some in Barcelona but will have much more once I settle in. The relationships we have and the positive impact we have in the world are, to me, two of the most core ways to measure our life.

It does take time to form friendships and build community, because one needs time together, repeated exposure. I started focusing more on building community and contacts in Spain, but particularly in Madrid and Barcelona, in 2018 when I tried to move to Spain and spent months between the two cities exploring opportunities and meeting people and connecting via Twitter and LinkedIn (those latter of which I continued to do once I returned to the U.S.) I used both Twitter and LinkedIn to learn about events happening in Barcelona and Madrid while in Spain looking for a job, as well as to get to know people via back-and-forth interactions. But I think I have built community on these platforms, particularly Twitter, because I genuinely enjoy connecting people or sharing information that I think may interest a given person, and because I will debate and discuss civilly with people I disagree with on a given matter but think are well-intentioned and capable of such discourse. I also am genuinely excited by many things, and people tend to respond more to positivity and negativity than to relatively neutral sentiments.

One of those Twitter connections, Juan Luis Hortelano, brought together a few people for a paella luncheon when I came to Valencia during an August 2021 vacation, and I there met Javier Megias and Diego Moya, and through that lunch, I wound up finding the opportunity to join ClimateTrade and move to Valencia. Those connections built over the years helped me to meet people in Valencia when I moved here, as I knew very few people in Valencia at that time. A number of people I was connected with on Twitter, in particular, tagged a friend or acquaintance or reshared my tweets, resulting in people in Valencia like Coco Rodrigo or Teresa Domenech or Jesus Gallent or Karina Virrueta reaching out to meet. A grad school friend, Javi (from Galicia, living in the UK), connected me with his longtime London flatmate, Eva, who had moved back to Valencia. I made other friends organically, Nacho while having dinner alone in the center of Valencia on one of my first nights in the city; or when an long-ago NYC office-mate Noam and his wife Galia moved to Valencia or through work, like Ana Karen.

But part of the community I had felt I would miss in NYC (and which I do miss) went beyond the close friends and was more the familiar faces from everyday life - the people at Oslo Coffee or those I’d see regularly while out running and exchange hellos or waves with, the waiter at Leitao around the corner who asked if I needed help with moving, the folks at Tomiño who remembered my favorite foods on the menu. Or of course, the friends from Pitch and Run NYC and other running clubs like Nike NYC over the years.

Over the past few weeks and months, I’ve realized how much of that I have in Valencia as well. From the twin sisters Laura & Marta who run neighborhood coffeeshop Casa Capicúa to Cesár & Iria who own Vinorte Wine bar on my block and their team Vida & Cherryl, from Maria & Susy who run my favorite olive oil/wine/dressings shop Bescuit in the Mercat Central or the mother and daughter at Pepa Puerto seafood in the Mercat who tell me they are sad I am leaving and also that “soy de la familia” (which means both a bargain and it’s okay if I wait a bit in line). I felt it in bringing friends together for a small party at my apartment a few weeks ago. And in attending the Valencia Digital Summit this week and crossing paths with many familiar faces, plus even being able to bring together 12 people for an early-morning run before Day 2.

I’ve only named a sliver of people I’ve met in Valencia and become friends or friendly faces with. As I get ready to move to Barcelona, I am grateful that I have a community to return to and stay in touch with in Valencia, and that I still have that in NYC, and that I have one already in Barcelona that I’m excited to nurture and see grow.

Reads of the week

• I continue to think misinformation is as big a threat of any we face, which I went on about with a man I met at Valencia Digital Summit this week. It’s only getting worse with increased AI capabilities of image creation and deep fakes on video and audio. The Fog of war and misinformation with hospital in Gaza. There are a few related articles below, and I’ll surely write on this in the next couple of months.

• Where IRA money is going

• Avoid sociopaths to the extent possible, your life will be better for it!

• The art of being human

• Changing government in US

• Misinformation on X on Israel/Gaza dominated by a few influential accounts

• Study on new elite Twitter accounts and misinformation

• Russian disinformation in Africa

• A Gaza reporter on life there

• Computing industry already more CO2 emissions than airline

• Malaria and climate change, illustrated in Mozambique

• The 49 most powerful New Yorkers you’ve never heard of

• Benedict Evans on leaving Twitter and why misinformation matters

• Mujeres inversoras y fundadoras

• Más violencia machista entre jóvenes en España

• Good piece on micro stress, and the hidden toll it takes

• The media isn’t up to the task of calling out current Republican Party, as shown with radical Speaker elected

Podcasts

• On the Politics of Disagreement with Steve Inskeep, via On with Kara Swisher

Video

• Sentir el fútbol- una hija narrando el partido a su papá con alta discapacidad visual

Books

• 102 Minutes: The Unforgettable Story of the Fight to Survive inside the Twin Towers - by Jim Dwyer & Kevin Flynn. Inside the Twin Towers on 9/11, stories from those who survived and those who didn’t, and those who courageously tried to save others. It also goes deeply into the construction and design of the Twin Towers, which contributed in some cases to saving more people and in many cases to more loss of life due to fewer escape routes and protections. One piece you can take is on the possibility to find meaning in many jobs.